


My Lord, have mercy on me.

by SunnyInTheSun



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: BAMF Jaskier | Dandelion, Bottom Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Episode Fix-It: s01e06 Rare Species, Geralt is a good parent, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Apologizes, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Geraskier, Jaskier is Lord Pankratz now, Jaskier is a good Lord, Jaskier loves and protects his family, M/M, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, They are in love but stupid, Top Jaskier | Dandelion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyInTheSun/pseuds/SunnyInTheSun
Summary: "Where are we? I'm not sure I visited this country before."Geralt's eyes drift to the castle not very far from the forest they were hiding for a few hours. He feels his breath accelerate but he doesn't have another option: they have to hide there.Cirilla needs to rest and it's not safe to travel further if they will not rest enough."This is Letthenove. I have a friend there, he will help us."If Jaskier is there and he's lucky enough to not be thrown out after what he did.*Geralt is traveling with Cirilla, trying to not be captured by the Nilfgaardian soldiers. He can't stop, he can't take a break and he can't think of anything else but take Cirilla to Kaer Morhen and let her be safe... until they find themselves on Letthenove.Geralt knows Cirilla needs to take a break and rest so he goes even if he's not sure if Jaskier wants to meet him after what he did.But what he finds when he knocks on the door is not Jaskier: is Julian Alfred Pankratz, Lord and Viscont of Letthenove.His bard is not the same anymore.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 36
Kudos: 306





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> So... hello with a new story, I think? 🌸  
> It not will be that long but since I don't know how many chapters will be, here we are with a new story without who-knows-how-many-chapters in my list of works!  
> I was inspired by the beautiful arts of @spielzeugkaiser (tumblr) where Jaskier, after the mountain, become Lord of his lands and then our idiots meet again but Jaskier is not the same person anymore.
> 
> Those wonderful arts were so amazing I wanted to draw something so I asked permission to write a story of it and here we are.  
> I'll post as soon as possible - apparently I'm over my writer-block? - so I hope you'll like it 🌸
> 
> As always I remember you that eng isn't my first language but I hope it will be easy to read but if you see any mistakes just point them out, I'll be happy to correct them ❤️

_[Check Spielzeugkaiser's wonderful arts](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me) _

_[who inspired me to create this story ](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me) _

_[and also gave me permission to write it 🌸](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me)_

> _First part_

Geralt has to be quick, he can’t look around or behind himself and he can’t make sounds.

He can’t make camp, he can’t stop taking baths or he can’t enter big cities without taking the risk of being recognized - and it’s difficult to hide his white hair or the golden eyes - and he can’t ask for help to anyone.

Geralt risked his brothers’ lives once with Blaviken, and this time he just wants to be the only one suffering if possible. 

He’s tired but he can’t stop, not when Cirilla almost killed herself trying to find him. She was brave, impossible brave considering her grandmother died, and she already lost her parents. She was alone, but she didn’t stop and he will not stop either.

Roach bites his shirt with delicate teeth, and Geralt finally looks at her. She’s also exhausted, but she continues to walk beside him, as if she wants to protect his side and also Cirilla on her back.

“I know. You are tired, girl. Be patience, we will take a little break soon. Okay?”

Roach seems to agree and nods. They have to be patience. All of them. Even if the road is difficult and their legs are giving up, they can’t think of being tired or being scared.

A Witcher can’t be scared. Maybe if he will say it many times, he will finally believe it.

* 

Geralt can tell he was far over where he wanted to stop to take another break (they didn’t stop even for the night, it’s more convenient to travel when no one can see you) but when he finally does... well, the mountains are quite familiar.

He knows the country like his pockets and when he’s outside of the forest, Geralt almost chokes on his own breath.

“Geralt you okay?”

Cirilla’s voice is soft and his hand takes his fingers trying to drift his attention to herself. 

“Yeah.”

Cirilla raises an eyebrow, not convinced, but she asks nothing else about it. She’s trying to not upset him for weeks, maybe scared of being abandoned. Geralt’s chest tights at the idea every time, but he says nothing either.

“Where are we? I’m not sure I visited this country before.”

Geralt’s eyes drift to the castle not very far from the forest they were hiding for a few hours. He feels his breath speed up, but he doesn’t have another option: they have to hide there. Cirilla need to rest, and it’s not safe to travel further if they will not rest enough.

“This is Lettenhove. I have a friend there, he will help us.”

If Jaskier is there and he’s lucky enough to not be thrown out in the street after what he did.

* 

It’s been eight months since The Mountain, and there isn’t a day where Geralt doesn’t feel guilty about what he said to Jaskier.

He was nervous, hurt and he feel his own skin burning with anger and he slashed out to the only person who was by his side for over twenty years without leave him alone even once.

It wasn’t fair and when he climbed off the Mountain, it was too late: for the first time Jaskier wasn’t there waiting for him.

He was gone, and it was too late.

Geralt lived with the guilty on his stomach for all those months, but he didn’t have the time to search for Jaskier when Cintra was falling and Cirilla was struggling to stay alive. He had to save her, and Jaskier maybe would forgive him if he knows the truth.

If he knows how much guilty he feel and how much he missed his voice.

* 

“So... this friend of yours. Who is he? I didn’t know you had friends beside your brothers.”

They are in front of the Castle, the giant door still closed and a beautiful garden in the field of the right side. It doesn’t seem abandoned and Geralt has to take a great breath before knocking on the old wood.

The anxiety makes his limbs feel heavy and his legs shaking, but he can’t say it and he can’t let his body admit it until they are safe.

“He’s a bard, his name is Jaskier. He traveled with me for some years.”

The door opens. It’s heavy, and it needs some time, and in these seconds, Geralt adds something even if he’s talking most to himself than with Cirilla.

“He’s the only person I trust. He will protect you with all his being.”

* 

Geralt can’t say he’s surprised when a group of guards stop him to enter and point their swords at him and Cirilla. He doesn’t make a move to defend himself but protects his Child Surprise with his body. If he has to die, he will know Cirilla is safe.

“What do you want, Witcher? We know your kind, we don’t want troubles here.”

Geralt raises his hands, letting them see he’s not armed. They don’t lower their weapons, but it’s okay: they don’t have to trust him, just hear him.

“I’m here because I’m searching for a bard. His name is Jaskier, and I know for sure this is his land. I’m a friend.”

The guards look at one another with confusion, before growling at Geralt, making a step forward and making Geralt take a step back at the same time.

“There’s no one with that name here. Take your belongings and your child and go away, Witcher. We’ll not say it a second time.”

 _Fuck_. If Jaskier isn’t there, then there’s no way they will let them stay even for a night.

“We are asking for help,” he said, trying to be as calm as he can be without using his sword “and we will not go back until someone will help us.”

* 

It’s a matter of time until the guards take a step too much further in their direction and he has to pull out a sword to make sure Cirilla is safe.

“This land will not help your kind,” spats a guard, looking at him as the monster he thinks he is “and we will not help you. You have five seconds before we will kill you and that girl. Five...”

Geralt growls, dangerous. He didn’t plan to kill these men, and he didn’t want to take this castle by force, but he will if he has to.

“Four...”

“I don’t want to kill you,” he said, moving his sword hitting no one “but I will if you try to do something to her. I just want a place to make her rest and we will go in the nightfall,” he adds, “we ask a few hours. Nothing more.”

“ _Three_.” someone says.

“Go away, monster,” he adds someone else “we will not give you even a minute on our land. Go away or we-“

Geralt can hear a lot of sounds in his head - more of them are from the soldiers, screaming his name - _Witcher_ \- and spitting on his feet - until a voice just overhangs all of them. 

It’s a voice Geralt knows, but he can hear it particularly harsh and intransigent, when he usually was so sweet. When Geralt lifts his eyes, he sees Jaskier just a few feet away from them. He wears dull cloth nowhere colorful like his old ones but practical for a fight, a sword at his right side and a switchblade knife on the left, the hair a little longer with a little ponytail and a light beard. 

He seems a totally different person from the one Geralt knows, but when their eyes lock, he can be sure of it: he’s his Jaskier.

* 

“Let them pass,” his loud and cold voice says, looking at his guards almost with disgust “I didn’t give any orders to kill strangers if they ask for a night to rest and I know them personally. They are my guests and next time you will come to me before deciding with wayfarers or you will be the one paying the consequences.”

The guards lower the swords, looking at each other with the same confusion as before. 

“But... my Lord, he’s a Witcher.”

Jaskier take a step further, caressing his sword with delicate fingers and a wave of fears hits Geralt. With his surprise, is the fear of the guards.

“ _No_ , he’s my guest,” he answered, stomping his feet on the ground “and that girl is his daughter. It’s the only information you need to know and the only information I will give you. Your job is the keep this land safe, not to question my decisions. So keep doing your job or I’ll be the one to count. _Understood_?”

A Witcher can’t be scared, it’s what always Geralt keep on saying to himself. But Geralt’s body shivers beyond his control and without him making nothing to stop it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Witchers!  
> Here I am with the new chapter, and I'm so happy because I updated both of my stories still ongoing and this one was so easy to write? I don't know how to express myself but it was so beautiful and I was so happy to write it so soon that I couldn't wait to post it ❤️  
> As always you can find the link of @Spielzeugkaiser beautiful arts on tumblr in the chapter below and always thank you to let me write this story 🌸  
> See you on the note at the end!

_[Check Spielzeugkaiser's wonderful arts](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me) _

_[who inspired me to create this story](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me) _

_[and also gave me permission to write it 🌸](https://spielzeugkaiser.tumblr.com/post/626622363229929472/what-is-happening-here-j-you-may-address-me) _

> _Second Part_

Geralt has to breathe a few times before his vision calms down enough to actually _see_ Jaskier.

He’s... different somehow, and Geralt can tell that’s not only his appearance but his very own being. 

His eyes are more cold than they ever were when they traveled together, and his body seems trained to hold a sword and just do what his mouth said. 

Killing... Geralt traveled with him for twenty years and he doesn’t see him killing any animal even for their dinner ( _I can’t, Geralt! They are small and... and beautiful and I can’t! I will not kill them, I’ll rather starve to death_!) but for some reasons, Geralt has no doubts about believing his words.

He will kill their own guards to protect them, even when Geralt doesn’t deserve it.

“Jas-“

“Come in, Witcher and Lady. My castle is open... for you both.”

Jaskier looks at him for a mere second before making a wave of the hands and, not unexpectedly, they let them pass, opening like a wave of the sea.

Geralt understood in all his years of living to not look a gift horse in the mouth when he’s gifted with it. So he takes Cirilla’s hand, caressing his sword when they pass through the guards and following Jaskier on the inside. 

He takes a real breath just when the old and giant door is finally closed on his back.

*****

Geralt doesn’t know what to do, but he follows Jaskier through the corridors of the Castle. It’s not big as much as Kaer Morhen’s one, but he’s well furnished and well kept. They meet some servitors and some more guards, but they look at Jaskier and just let them pass because their _Viscount_ said so. 

He needs just a nod of the head or a wave of the hand and they are just free to walk with no one complaining. 

Geralt is not sure how much time they have before Nilfgaardian’ finds them, but he knows they are safe for now. 

It’s the most comforting feeling he felt in the last weeks now and he’s not sure what to think about it.

Or what to think about Jaskier’s behavior.

*****

“These are my quarters.”

Jaskier’s voice is deep and delicate. They are walking for a few minutes now and he didn’t say a single thing to him - or them - until they reach a wing of the Castle apparently less frequented by soldiers or maids. Geralt thought Jaskier wants to keep them far from the others so anyone working there couldn’t see them, but he is wrong.

Well... he was wrong before. Apparently it didn’t stop his habit of jumping on conclusions.

“Your quarters?” Ciri asks, small voice. Those are her first words since they reach Letthenove and Geralt looks at Jaskier slowing down his pace and smiling at her, sweetly.

“Yes. They are the most safe chambers of the castle and yours will be next to mine so if something happens I will know immediately.”

Geralt tenses. He doesn’t stop walking just because Cirilla is at his side, and he seems eager to arrive at her room and rest.

“You don’t need to do that. We will stay just for a few hours and go by dawn.”

_You don’t need to do anything for me. I don’t deserve it._

He knows Jaskier can hear him but it’s the first time they talk after the Mountain and his words sounds weird even at his ears.

Jaskier doesn’t smile this time, and he doesn’t look at him. Somehow, this is even worse than being angry.

“I know Nilfgaardian soldiers are searching for you, but my Castle is a safe place and so it is my land. Letthenove is free and I’ll keep you both free as well with all my power. You don’t need to go by dawn. Stay, rest and then I’ll give you another horse and you can go to Arg Carraigh. Until then, you’ll both be safe here. I swear on my name.”

Geralt stays silent, his eyes incredibly wet as if someone has slapped him on the face. His voice doesn’t come out even if he tries and, even if he doesn’t want to let his guard down, he feels safe for the first time in... maybe, forever.

*****

“This is for you, Princess and this one is for you, Witcher,” Jaskier says, showing the chambers with a wave of the hand “the rooms are connected so you can protect her if something happens and, as I said, you can stay as long as you like. My employers are discrete and they know it’s better not to displease me. I will send dinners and baths, and if you need anything else, you just have to ask.”

He smiles - even just for Ciri again - and then he’s walking out.

“Jaskier...”

He stops and Geralt knows he’s stiff because of him. 

“I don’t know who you are talking about, Witcher." he said, coldly "There’s no _Jaskier_ here. I’m _Julian Alfred Pankratz_ , and I’m the Lord of this land. You better call me like that from now on.”

He sees his back walking out for the second time and the only feeling Geralt can feel now it’s a chilly wind coming from the open window. Or maybe from inside his own chest.

*****

Geralt can’t feel at ease for all day until Ciri eats and goes to bed, sleeping soundly without even reach the pillow.

He can’t and he doesn’t want to, but he finally lets his guard down after a few hours and, in the middle of the night without getting not a minute of sleep, he goes out and explores the Castle a bit.

It’s colorful with a lot of different styles and paintings. There’s a big paint of a beautiful lady - Jaskier’s mother, maybe? They seem similar - and another big one, maybe even bigger, of an old man with the same eyes as Jaskier. Apart from physical features, nothing else reminds him of Jaskier. 

Not the paintings, not the walls - sometimes grey, sometimes white - or the dark purple drapes covering the windows.

They are not cheerful, not... _beautiful_ , like Jaskier and Jaskier’s style. It’s like walking in the house of a stranger and Geralt thinks it’s exactly like that: he doesn’t know him anymore and maybe his words weren’t too far from the truth.

There’s no Jaskier here.

Not at all.

*****

There’re no chambers in this area of the Castle. It’s just big salons, like a hall of a King, and there’re no soldiers as well (maybe they are outside for the night or in another wing, Geralt doesn’t care much). For what Geralt knows, probably they are just trying a way to chase him and Ciri out - maybe that’s why he can sleep a wink after all -.

“--My Lord, it's a reckless decision and you know it.”

His superhuman ears pick up something at the end of the hallway. The door is open and there’s people inside. He can hear voices, heartbeats, angry feelings and scared ones, and it’s just when he reaches the door that he can see inside.

There’s a bunch of people - soldiers, maids, some villagers or nobles? Geralt can tell from their clothes - and at the end of the room, sitting on the throne like a King, there’s Jaskier. 

Geralt knows him enough to say he’s annoyed, stomping his feet on the ground and tapping on the sit with his fingers, and Geralt knows immediately the angry feeling he felt before was coming off of Jaskier. He can't his smile recognizing some of Jaskier's old behavior.

“Yeah? Tell me something I don’t know.”

Geralt’s lip quirk up, trying to not laugh out loud at Jaskier’s annoyed tone of voice. He remembers that time they met Valdo Marx in a tavern in the North, and that’s the same tone he used with him.

“My Lord, it’s dangerous to keep him here. You can’t be serious about him being your guest!” says a puffy man with a ridiculous hat. A noble for sure, judging from his prominent belly.

“Oh, but I’m always serious, my dear Chamberlain,” Jaskier replies “they _are_ my guests and they _will_ be here as long as I want them to stay.”

“But, Lord Pankratz-“

“Lord Pankratz--“

Geralt could see Jaskier tensing and his eyes narrowing with fury.

“You know very well I don’t like to be called with that name,” he says, hissing “my name is _Julian_ and it'd better to call me like that from now on.”

His voice is low and raspy and, not for the first time, Geralt could feel a shiver on his back hearing Jaskier - _Julian_ \- talking like that.

“My apologies, my Lord,” the little man says, bowing without real courtesy “I’m just concerned for our land.”

“ _My_ land,” Jaskier corrected “and I don’t remember asking yours or anyone advice. Before being a Witcher, they are a man and a child needing shield from an entire _army_ searching for them. They are chased and, if the Nilfgaardian soldiers will find them, probably killed. They are innocent people in the middle of a political war and you all know I tried to avoid them as much as I can but this is going behind being involved. This is finding out what side we are going to take and I know very well which one I chose to stand with.”

There’s an unnatural silence standing in the room and Geralt knows very well how fluent Jaskier can be with words, but he just can’t believe he stood against all of his nobility just to protect him when he didn’t ask for his forgiveness yet.

Does he deserve him? No. But it’s not the first time he hears his mind saying it.

“That said, it’s none of your business who my guest is. They are a friend of mine with his daughter, and that’s the only thing you need to know.” Jaskier says and then his voice drop and Geralt can see his blue eyes darkening and sense a shiver running on the spines of all the present in the room “If I ever hear some of you contacted Nilfgaardian guards and expose them up I will take your head personally with my sword. Nobles, peasants or my personal guards, I don’t care who you are or what title you have. Hope I was clear enough.”

Geralt doesn’t wait another second before going to his chambers with wobbling legs.

A Witcher can be scared. Now he knows.

*****

A knock on the door wakes Geralt, and he just gets up, sword in hand and heart pounding even too fast for his inhuman body.

Before he can ask, Jaskier’s voice comes from outside and Geralt feels his own limbs leaving the stiffness without his control.

“It’s me.”

“Come in.”

Jaskier enters. He isn’t wearing the same outfit of the evening, but just a black loose shirt and a ridiculous short pants, bare feet and messing long hair. Seems like he was sleeping but Geralt can see the bags under his eyes, his pale face and he knows Jaskier is too nervous to sleep just like him.

“Something happened?” he asked, voice rasping and using all his strength to look directly at Jaskier’s eyes.

Jaskier shakes his head, and Geralt relaxes. They can stay at least tonight, then.

“No. I just wanted to inform you that no one of my men will say a word about your and Ciri stay here. You can take a break as long as you like. I know you are trying to go to Kaer Morhen but you cannot reach it anytime soon if you don’t rest. Cirilla too is exhausted,” Jaskier takes a breath before talking again “and you are too. They are scared, but they are loyal to me. You are safe here.”

Geralt already knows, but he says nothing. He nods instead, lowering his head.

“Thank you, Jaskier.”

Jaskier tenses. 

“It’s better if you call me _my Lord_ from now on, Witcher,” he says, a bit nervous and a bit cold “they know you are my friend even if it’s _not_ true but you need to behave until you leave. Try not to go outside much, but apart from that, my Castle is yours.”

Geralt stays silent, and Jaskier knows him too well to not understand there’ll be no answer this night.

When Jaskier opens the door, Geralt gets up and Jaskier tenses when he turns around. He can’t see him on his knees like he is now, but he can feel Julian’s cold skin against his own hand.

“Thank you for your patronage and your protection, my Lord. We will take advantage on your kindness until it will be safe enough to be on the road again.”

Jaskier says nothing, but he nods. He takes his hand away from Geralt’s grip and the door closes with him still knelt on the floor and Jaskier’s scent on the air like it was for all the years they traveled together.

Geralt can’t stop thinking of what he has done to deserve _his_ Lord at his side once again after what he did to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it and thank you for the amazing response of the first chapter. Let me know what you think about this second update if you want, your kudos and bookmarks also make me very happy ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! See you next update and comments/kudos/bookmarks are always appreciated ❤️


End file.
